The Anger Diet...
|BV Langkawi Homestay Pantai Cenang|
....saya menjalankan bisness homestay di langkawi dinamakan BV LANGKAWI HOMESTAY PANTAI CENANG secara kecil kecilan. boleh dikatakan ini adalah family bisness. abah dan bonda di Langkawi bantu kami untuk jadi care taker kepada homestay kami nan satu ini memandangkan kami berada jauh di kolumpo. kami buat marketing dan reservation, abah dan bonda terima tetamu dan urusan selebihnya di langkawi.
kadang di tengah malam bonda telefon mengadu hal guess yang check in kurang budi bahasa. iyelah,,,orang tua. expectation mereka pada golongan muda mestilah tinggi. tapi guest kadang sebab seringgit dua sanggup bergaduh dengan bonda dan abah. mana budi bahasa kita ???
akhir-akhir ini saya nampak bonda lebih menonjolkan sifat possessive beliau. bonda agaknya dah jadi over involve dengan homestay kami. iyelah,, dia yang tahu selok belok homestay di sana, mestilah ada jiwa pada homestay tu...betul tak...
saya boleh paham, kadang saya balik kampung tengok homestay, rasa possessive itu datang. sebab setiap inci homestay itu keringat sendiri yang ditumpahkan. setiap perabot, atur letak, peratan dan pokok bunga sebatang pun, saya yang buat sendiri. teringat semasa BV dalam pembinaan. saya preggy 6 bulan; saya cat sendiri BV!sapa tak rasa perit dan sayang kan? bila buat bisnes homestay, rasa seperti membiarkan rumah yang kita sayang diberi pada orang lain. ibaratnya separuh jiwaku pergi...ceewah.
mungkin pengusaha homestay lain plain saja.tak de emotionally involved pun kerana kadang pengusaha beli rumah taman atau rumah sedia ada yang tidak didiami, isi barang yang dah tak pakai dalam rumah tu,,lepas tu jadikan homestay (mungkin tak semua). saya pulak gatal beli tanah bendang, tambak guna tanah bukit, buat rumah guna plan sendiri, bergaduh dengan tukang yang tak faham makna kontrak, cat rumah, beli perabot, beli airconds and you just name it apa yang guest mintak semua kita sediakan hatta tanam bunga sepokok pun buat sendiri. bagi harga sewa pun sangatlah murah dan seakan tak patut pun harga tu sebab murah sangat (160 untuk homestay 2 bilik dengan 2 bilik air dan 2 airconds!) (320 untuk homestay 4 bilik, 4 bilik air dan 4 airconds!) so,,saya memang take heart kalau apa-apa yang guest macam tak appreciate kat homestay tu.
ini semua nak menggambarkan sifat possessive itu. tapi bila difikirkan saya ni buat bisness. homestay pulak tu. saya cuba sedikit demi sedikit to let go and let God. ikhlaskan hati dan buat yang terbaik. kadang guest komplain, sentap jiwa, tak tidur malam. guest mungkin tak tahu, tapi debaran jiwa takkan hilang selagi guest tak check out. terfikirkan apa jadi dengan rumah kita, barang-barang kita. last-last ikhlaskan saja, asal guest selesa.
guest takkan faham, apa yang majoriti guest ingat, dia bayar dan dia nak selesa superb punya dengan harga yang kalau boleh bajet punya/free lagi bagus.saya paling sentap kalau guest kata saya tipu duit mereka dan menganiaya....Allah saja yang tahu betapa saya terluka....saya pun tak kata homestay saya perfect, tapi saya cuba sedia yang terbaik untuk keselesaan dengan harga patut. lets b fair, lets give and take and yet,,, we are homestay bro..we are NOT hotel.above all, we are muslim, we are malays, budi bahasa budaya kita bukan?
untuk saya dan bonda tercinta,,sila baca article di bawah, mungkin boleh buat jiwa sedikit selesa dengan situasi yang kita ada. lagipun, untuk bonda dan saya sendiri,,, apa yang kita ada, elok diletakkan rasa sayang padanya, jaga dan harganya seada.. tapi hakikatnya dunia ini adalah pinjaman, semua yang kita ada akhirnya akan ditinggalkan juga.....wink
|Bv Langkawi Homestay pantai cenang|
Langkawi Blaque Villa HomeStay
Welcome to Langkawi Blaque Villa HomeStay. It is strategically located in the radius of Cenang Beach, Langkawi. Surrounded by paddy fields, airport/MIEC, beaches and tourist hot spots, to make everything you need closed to you. We have 2 and 4 room homestay for your convenience
+6012-310 6096, +6012-331 3020, firstname.lastname@example.org
Blaque Villa HomeStay Type
Discount!> 2 nights
Info/booking/reservation: +6012-310 6096, +6012-331 3020 email: email@example.com
How To Break Free From the Addiction to Possessiveness and Control
By Brenda Shoshanna
When life presents many challenges the desire to control can seem natural. There is the illusion that if we control events, ourselves and others, we will be safe, successful and secure. Unfortunately, the opposite is true. The tighter we grip, hold on and manipulate, the more out of control we become.
Especially in relationships, where people feel vulnerable, where emotions are high and a great deal is at stake, the wish to control arises. At first this may appear as possessiveness, wanting to know all about what the partner is doing, dictating what he/she can or cannot do. Possessive often intensifies. Power struggles erupt. There is the sense that the person belongs to you and you have the right to direct their choices and the way their life goes.
Both the person dominating and the one being dominated lose freedom and well-being. Although the dominant one may say they are doing it out of love, for the good of the partner, the bottom line is that there is fear and anger here, manifesting as the desire to control. Love always honors and respects another, it gives a person space to be who they are, to make their own changes and discoveries. It does not seek to take over another's life, but to enhance it.
However, some very much enjoy being controlled. They feel that if their partners are possessiveness and controlling, it means that they care. This is a dangerous confusion. When one individual controls another, it is always to make themselves feel safe and secure.
The Dynamics Of Control
The more out of control one really is, the more the desire to control arises. Being able to control another person or situation can provide a feeling of power, strength, authority, or the sense that one's world will stay stable and secure. However, the more we control, the more of our own energy we have to use to keep this vigil up.
Control and domination can become an addiction. There is a rush that goes with control, the person feels powerful, as though they are strong and on top of the world and often the one being controlled may also feel a rush of safety and security, as though they matter a great deal to someone. Sooner or later all of this has to collapse.
Fear Of Domination
Another strong source of the desire to control others is fear of domination. We do not want to be controlled. Although many long for approval and acceptance, they also fear being dictated to. The way this conflict is handled is by dominating others. They feel that if they are doing the controlling, no one can lasso them in. In fact, they are lassoing themselves, tying themselves to the one they so need to control. Many will do almost anything to feel secure. Much anxiety can be traced to not having a true sense of stability within ourselves. This happens when we do not live from our core. The need to control arises from this. It is vitally necessary to contact our true the true source of security within that which provides stability, no matter what is going on.
Who Are You Controlling?
Make a list of everyone you are controlling - or want to control. Include yourself in this list. Write down the ways in which you control and dominate yourself.
Stop Controlling Them
Take one person on the list and just let them No matter how much you've tried to control them, have you succeeded? Write down what the result has been. How has it made you feel? Whatprice have you paid for this?
Imagine that you simply allow them to be exactly as they are. How does this make you feel now? What happens to your relationship? What happens to your own energy and sense of well-being?
Granting Freedom To Yourself As Well
Now do this exercise with yourself.Allow yourself to be exactly as you are. Stop fighting, pushing, and punishing yourself for ways in which you function. Take the noose off your own neck. How do you feel? What new ways of being may be open to you now? What has your endless desire to control yourself stopped from happening?
Realizing Who Is In Control
Different people will come to different conclusions about this part of the exercise. That's fine. The purpose of the exercise is to grapple with this question. Spend time with it. Dwell upon the question ' who is really in control of your life and the life of others? Let the answer reveal itself. Who is really in control of this world? Think about that. After you've done all you can, who is in control of what happens to you? What good does it do you to fight life? Is there another way to respond?
Additional Information - Provided by the Author
Watch upset and tension melt away on The Anger Diet (30 Days To Stree Free Living). Get award winning program by top psychologist at http://www.theangerdiet.com . Well known relationship expert, mediator and workshop leader has helped thousands discover strength, balance and peace of mind. Subscribe to free ezine at http://www.brendashoshanna.com . Contact - firstname.lastname@example.org. (212) 288-0028.